Parenting Marked by Chronic Migraine: A Conversation With Marina Medved-Lentini

Nora McInerny:

Life sometimes has a way of blindsiding you with a feeling of being overwhelmed at the worst possible time. It could come while you're out with friends running an important meeting or just with your family at home. A spiraling thought that leaves you feeling helpless. That's why you have your self-care, your coping strategies. That's why you have us.

I'm Nora McInerny and this is The Head Start: Embracing the Journey, a podcast where we'll be taking all those things you usually save for your friend group out into the open so we can all find a bit of optimism.

I'll definitely be sharing my experiences and vulnerabilities and trying to pick up some things along the way to work into my own routine. But this show isn't about me, it's about life. And wow, that just made it sound very deep and I guess it will be deep, but it won't be heavy. For those battling Chronic Migraine, these conversations are going to be even more helpful and relatable, so definitely stick around.

This show is brought to you in partnership with AbbVie. So, first, let's hear some important safety information and stay tuned to the end of the podcast for more.

Speaker 1:

Indication:  BOTOX^® (onabotulinumtoxinA) is a prescription medicine that is injected into muscles and used to prevent headaches in adults with Chronic Migraine who have 15 or more days each month with headache lasting 4 or more hours each day in people 18 years and older.

It is not known whether BOTOX is safe and effective to prevent headaches in patients with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days each month (episodic migraine).

Important Safety Information: BOTOX may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening. Get medical help right away if you have any of these problems any time (hours to weeks) after injection of BOTOX:

• Problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing, due to weakening of associated muscles, can be severe and result in loss of life. You are at the highest risk if these problems are preexisting before injection. Swallowing problems may last for several months.
• Spread of toxin effects. The effect of botulinum toxin may affect areas away from the injection site and cause serious symptoms, including loss of strength and all-over muscle weakness; double vision; blurred vision; drooping eyelids; hoarseness or change or loss of voice; trouble saying words clearly; loss of bladder control; trouble breathing; and trouble swallowing.

Please see Important Safety Information, including Boxed Warning, within this podcast or on the website below.

Nora McInerny:

Hi, everybody. Good to be back. Good to have you back. In a Pew Research Center study, 62% of parents said that parenting is harder than they expected, and you can count me among that number. Parenting isn't just hard, of course, it is often a joy. It is often wonderful. It is hands down one of the most important jobs a person can do and a privilege to get to do it and to get to do it our way.

Every generation has more parenting tools than the one that came before them. We're all just doing our best. And even if you are the calmest, most serene soul out there, there's always a moment where your kids are going to break you. They will. They will find a way somehow. Mine are always related to Pokemon cards or a request for a hot dog, a boiled hot dog after somebody had turned up their nose at the many, many dinner options that had been laid before them.

The point is they're going to find a way to get to you and they're not trying to, of course, and neither were we as children. They're just trying to get their needs met. But when there's a lot going on and there always is and the dog is barking and the emails are piling up and the phone is ringing and the plans are changing and the kids are then arguing, which makes the dog bark more, to parent gently when we are not at our best physically or mentally, it can feel impossible.

Today's guest, Marina Medved-Lentini, is the founder of the blog and online community, Parenting with Migraine, where she creates and curates content to help other parents who are struggling to balance parenting, work, life, and Chronic Migraine. We are always learning. There is never a moment where you know it all. And if you think you do, just wait a minute. Your kids have more to teach you.

I can't wait to talk with Marina Medved-Lentini. But before we do, let's have a chat with my friend, our resident headache specialist, Dr. Rhyne. I am so glad to see you again.

Dr. Rhyne:

You too, Nora. I hope that you're having a wonderful day. Your hair's looking extra pink today. I know the listeners don't get to see you.

Nora McInerny:

Oh, I just got it done. Thank you.

Dr. Rhyne:

My wife would be proud of me for noticing. I'm well-trained.

Nora McInerny:

Thank you.

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah.

Nora McInerny:

Yes.

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah. How's it going?

Nora McInerny:

Good. I'm trying to also train my kids to notice things like that. And I came back from my appointment and my 6-year-old said, "Oh, I thought maybe you'd come back with normal hair." Thanks sick burn. Kindergarten is brutal. Okay.

Dr. Rhyne:

I made a mistake. One time she had highlighted her hair. I think she's gorgeous. I think her hair is gorgeous however it is. And I didn't say anything about it. And this is a couple of years into our marriage. And at this point, we're working all the time. We're taking care of kids. We're being the parents that we're trying to be. And I just didn't say anything about it and it broke her heart.

Nora McInerny:

Oh, I love to see a lesson come together. And today's topic has so many lessons within it because we are talking about the humbling journey of parenting.

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah.

Nora McInerny:

We're not just talking about parenting. We're talking about parenting with Chronic Migraine, which if parenting is already a doozy, this is a doozy of a humdinger. Can you help me understand how migraine triggers may be exacerbated in environments where we are juggling work, family, so many competing priorities all at once?

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah. So, I'm really blessed to have three kids and an amazing wife, and we're raising these kids together and it's an awesome rewarding journey. But it is humbling and painful and frustrating, and that's all without Chronic Migraine. Playing a role in my experience with parenting, to think about adding this debilitating disease when you're dealing with your kids or trying to parent them in a particular way or to try to learn from some of the parenting mistakes that maybe you experienced in the way that you were raised and not repeat them, but do that in the presence of migraine attacks would be really unbelievable.

If I hadn't seen through my practice, parents doing it every day. The biggest issue with parenting is you can't walk away from it.

Nora McInerny:

It's frowned upon.

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah. Yeah.

Nora McInerny:

It's frowned upon.

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah. They've got lost. They've got lost. So, where I can take a break from work, change careers or work towards that anyway, this is one of the things that you can't walk away from. And I definitely don't want to characterize parenting as a trigger for Chronic Migraine. We certainly want to be really clear about that, not driving it. But it creates environments where triggers can exist, stress, poor sleep, poor nutrition.

So, it creates environments where you are more likely exposed to those triggers, but rather than being able to pull your card and say, "You know what? I'm going to go lay down and I'm going to maybe take some medication or I'm going to turn the lights down and turn the TV off." Unfortunately, we don't have the chance to do that in a parenting environment. And so, that is the biggest deal with parenting and Chronic Migraine is that you simply can't walk away from that environment that is so laden with triggers.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah. Dr. Rhyne, you know this, all parents need support systems, need a village, need a plan, need routines. How do parents with Chronic Migraine develop those strategies so they can care for these children who need them and who they love?

Dr. Rhyne:

Yeah. I think this is a hope for the best plan for the worst kind of situation. Of course, I think any parent wants to wake up on a Saturday morning and it's butterflies and rainbows and we're taking all the kiddos off to the park or to a great breakfast or to a fun trip somewhere, that kind of thing. And so, that's what we hope for and I think that there will be those days. But we plan for the worst.

And that's where I think having that structure and those phone numbers to call and those messages to send out to family, friends, church communities, volunteer communities, even Chronic Migraine communities. I think that preparing if you're going to be anywhere where there are smells or sounds or lights or the springtime or the fall, where for some people weather triggers become a bigger issue.

For menstruating women who have their cycle at a particular time in the month and they know that they've got a field trip with one of the kiddos. Then I'm going to bring that support system to make sure that should a migraine attack crop up in that environment, that we have support in place to make sure that we can achieve being as present as possible.

And that's kind of the approach that I think that parents who are coping with migraine need to take where they're the one who may be projectile vomiting, unfortunately, and have a strategy in place to cope with that during whatever environment they might be in.

Nora McInerny:

That was such a powerful reframe. I think everybody needs that. I will be right back after the break with Marina Medved-Lentini. So, stick around. Welcome back to The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. Marina, hello. Welcome to the show.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Hi, Nora. Nice to see you.

Nora McInerny:

Nice to see you. I have a question for you, just a little icebreaker for us. What is your proudest parenting moment from this week?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Well, I had a sleep study with my daughter in Boston. She was crying and I was trying to be patient and my head was pounding. And so, I was supposed to say something profound to get her to relax. And I said to her, "If you don't stop crying then this won't work and we're going to have to come back here and do this all over again." And she got scared and she stopped crying and we got through it. A sleep study just seems like one of those simple things that you have to do with your child, but because it's complicated by Chronic Migraine.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah. There's no simple thing.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

But we got through it.

Nora McInerny:

You got through it.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

That's the moment. We got through just like we get through everything else. One day at a time, one step at a time, one moment at a time, we get through it.

Nora McInerny:

So, I want to ask you how this all began because you are a mother, which is in my experience, the job that I am the least qualified to do and yet the job where I don't get any breaks and I need some supervision or something. I'm somehow the boss. I don't know how that happened. And you are a person living with Chronic Migraine, so you are doing all of the difficult things that I am doing with this added layer, this added weight upon you. How did your Chronic Migraine journey begin?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

I remember my first memory of having a migraine attack, which I didn't know that that's what it was, was when I was having a picnic with my family and friends in Ukraine. And when we came to the United States, that's when I was diagnosed with migraine. It was episodic migraine then. And after trying different treatments, I learned to live with it. I navigated successfully through college, law school, and career as an attorney.

But once I got married and became pregnant, my hormone fluctuations significantly changed, my migraine attack pattern. And even though some women actually get better during pregnancy, I wasn't that lucky. So, my migraine attacks actually became worse in frequency and severity. My migraine progressed into Chronic Migraine and it wasn't long until I started experiencing daily migraine attacks.

Nora McInerny:

Daily, while you have a baby that everybody wants to describe as a bundle of joy, and they are, and they're also a bundle of needs. There's so much to do. How did you navigate motherhood with daily migraine attacks?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Everything just seems challenging. And here I was doing it all through nausea, light sensitivity, vomiting. It was debilitating. I would wake up in the morning with some free time and then the migraine attack would start and I would spend all day with these symptoms until bedtime. And that would repeat day after day for a very long time.

By the time I was having daily migraine attacks, my daughter, she would be crying. My son, he would be running around without pants. And I would sometimes sit on the floor and just cry. My husband would come home, the babies are crying, the wife is crying.

Nora McInerny:

The toddler is crying. Everyone's crying.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Everyone is crying. And my husband, he was so supportive and he was so helpful and we got through it. But it was hard. It was so hard. I couldn't lay down in a quiet dark room because I had to take care of the kids. The days were just all a blur. I leaned on my family who were also extremely supportive. But it was just very, very hard and I felt hopeless. I felt alone despite the fact that I had a very supportive family, because I felt like I was the only one that this was happening to.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah. Tell me about the feeling of not just motherhood, which is often just very lonely in general, but doing that with Chronic Migraine and that feeling that you are alone, that loneliness of believing that it is only you who's having this experience.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Right. I remember researching migraine online and I remember finding out more about the disease and yet not finding people like me. Even though there were people around me, I felt like nobody could understand me. I would be talking to friends and sharing my experience and they would tell me, "Hang on. You're going to be okay." I didn't have anybody that I could talk to who could tell me, "Hey, I have a child too who just walked in on me throwing up in the bathroom, because I was having a migraine attack and I felt nauseous, because hey, that happened to me."

That type of loneliness you get from living through this difficult experience that you don't know that other people are going through it.

Nora McInerny:

I'm so glad you had a supportive family who was able to show up and physically be there for you. That's such a gift. But what you are also talking about is the support that you can only get from a person who understands what you are going through. So, tell me about starting parenting with migraine.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Right. So, what helped me in my own Chronic Migraine journey was finding support groups and learning more about migraine and educating myself about Chronic Migraine and learning how to advocate for myself trying different migraine treatments, including working with my doctor to receive Botox for Chronic Migraine.

And so, after going through this experience, I became passionate about raising migraine awareness, helping people feel less alone and educating others about Chronic Migraine. And so, I wanted to start parenting with migraine on my community to show parents that living with Chronic Migraine is possible. And I stress the importance of finding a headache specialist to help people manage Chronic Migraine.

Nora McInerny:

What has the response been to people who have discovered parenting with migraine?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Sometimes when I'm having a rough day, I'm having a rough migraine attack, and I would get a message where somebody tells me that I helped them to get on a path in their own migraine journey, and that makes everything so much more worth it for me.

Nora McInerny:

Can I ask you just logistically? I'm so interested in how people do all of the things that they do, especially in your situation. How do you balance parenting, parenting with migraine, and having Chronic Migraine?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

So, a lot of people sometimes ask me, "How do you do it all?" And so, my answer is I don't. I do the best I can. There are some days that I can't get anything done at all. And there's some days where I'm very productive. And so, I try to not put too much pressure on myself about getting it all done. And that's something I always tell my community that as a person living with Chronic Migraine, holding herself to the standards of a person without this disease is not something we should be doing because that's setting us up for a failure.

As a family, we work together to do what mom can do. If there's something mom can do, we know that mom may probably do it the next day and we manage.

Nora McInerny:

How do you talk about Chronic Migraine with your kids? How did you explain it to them? At what ages and what did they and do they understand?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

That's such a good question. My kids have never known me without Chronic Migraine, and that's such a sad thought, but that's just my reality. And so, we've always talked about it. I've always been honest with them, age-appropriate conversations, but honest conversations because I would rather tell my kids the truth in an age-appropriate manner than having them imagine something, than having them invent things in their heads. Why mommy is on the couch half the month?

So, in the beginning when they were little, it's, "Well, mommy's head aches," or "Mommy is not feeling well," or "Mommy needs to be alone right now on the couch." And now, that my kids are eight and seven, we have different conversations. Now, it's, "Mommy has migraine attacks." We use proper migraine language.

Nora McInerny:

What have you learned from other parents in the community? What are they struggling with parenting with Chronic Migraine?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

One of the things parents with migraine attacks struggle with is guilt and not feeling like they're doing enough. And it's just something that comes up often in the community. And I always remind people that loving our kids, taking care of our kids, for any parent as a parent with this disease or not, that's the most important thing. And this is how I deal with the guilt. I try to do the best I can under the circumstances I'm given, and I try not to feel guilty about it.

Nora McInerny:

Marina, how can friends, family members, co-workers, strangers, neighbors, how can people help the people in their lives who are living with Chronic Migraine? What are some of those simple practical things that we can do to help?

Marina Medved-Lentini:

One, the most important thing is to believe people with Chronic Migraine. There's so much stigma attached to migraine. It's a neurological, often debilitating disease, and yet the stigma attached to it is that it's just like a headache that people with migraine are often lying and that they're just having a headache or taking migraine attacks seriously. Supporting people, supporting your loved one with migraine, offering to help or just a phone call where ... Or I guess nobody talks on the phone anymore. Text message.

Nora McInerny:

I do. I love a phone call. Call me.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

But just to talk on the phone or through a text about how are you feeling right now?

Nora McInerny:

I would love to hear you tell our listeners about your approach to managing your Chronic Migraine and making the most of your time with your children.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Through my migraine journey, I found that I can basically do anything with my kids and I can make memories with them. It can be either laying on the couch and watching a movie or it can be going on a trip. But whatever it is that we do, the most important thing is that I am there for them. I am near them. And I take lots of pictures so that they remember it and that I remember it.

Nora McInerny:

I love that so much.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

Thank you. Kids are so resilient. They're such amazing little human beings. And they just love you. Kids love their parents and they want to spend time with them. This year I've been really trying to focus on the things that I can do, however little that they are. The other last weekend we went to the butterfly garden and we looked at little butterflies flying all over us and my kids loved it. They just absolutely loved it, and it was such a great little trip and such a great memory, and so just doing little things like that.

Nora McInerny:

Marina, you're so wonderful. You're so delightful. We always like to end our show by asking our guests to share a message for people who are living with Chronic Migraine. We don't call it advice, but is there a message you would like to leave our listeners with? Especially I think parents with Chronic Migraine.

Marina Medved-Lentini:

I hope they see that you can be a parent and have a migraine attack. And yes, it is hard. It can be challenging at times. At times, I am just frustrated and most of the time it's a beautiful, beautiful experience being a parent. And yes, Chronic Migraine gets in the way, but it does not take away from being a parent. And so, I hope that my parenting with migraine community can help people see that.

Nora McInerny:

Thanks for listening to The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. We hope you found something worthwhile here with us today, a new coping strategy, a relatable story, the comfort of knowing you're not alone. I am so happy to be a part of creating this community for all of us, and especially for people living with Chronic Migraine.

If you haven't found a treatment plan that is working for you, please do reach out to your headache specialist to explore your options. I truly hope this has helped you find a bit of comfort and maybe a smile, maybe. See you next episode and stay tuned for more important safety information.

The Head Start: Embracing the Journey is hosted by myself, Nora McInerny. Executive produced by Yvonne Sheehan. Our head of post-production is James Foster. Our researcher is Ciara Kaiser. And our writer is John Irwin. Original music by Soundcat Productions and Art List.

Indication:  BOTOX^® (onabotulinumtoxinA) is a prescription medicine that is injected into muscles and used to prevent headaches in adults with chronic migraine who have 15 or more days each month with headache lasting 4 or more hours each day in people 18 years and older.

It is not known whether BOTOX is safe and effective to prevent headaches in patients with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days each month (episodic migraine).

Important Safety Information: BOTOX may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening. Get medical help right away if you have any of these problems any time (hours to weeks) after injection of BOTOX:

• Problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing, due to weakening of associated muscles, can be severe and result in loss of life. You are at the highest risk if these problems are preexisting before injection. Swallowing problems may last for several months.
• Spread of toxin effects. The effect of botulinum toxin may affect areas away from the injection site and cause serious symptoms, including loss of strength and all-over muscle weakness; double vision; blurred vision; drooping eyelids; hoarseness or change or loss of voice; trouble saying words clearly; loss of bladder control; trouble breathing; and trouble swallowing.

Please see Important Safety Information, including Boxed Warning, within this podcast or on the website below.

Nora McInerny:

Hello and welcome back to The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. This is season two. So, if you are new here, there are eight episodes of our first season available right now for you to binge. Making this show has been an honor and a true education and the people that we have met along the way are incredible. So here we are, season two and the journey continues.

One resounding thing we have heard from all of you is how difficult it can be to have an invisible illness like Chronic Migraine and I'm not just talking about the physical symptoms, but also the fact that the struggle that you're experiencing is invisible. To the world you look like you're doing just fine. Even if you're having auras or temporary vision changes or stomach turning nausea. You look fine, so you must be fine. If only. The reflex to fake it till you make it is real and it's pervasive. Think about every “Good Vibes Only” welcome mat you've seen. Every time someone asked how you were doing and you said fine even when the truth was you were really truly struggling. But one thing I've noticed is that speaking openly and honestly about our lives creates the space for other people to be open and honest about theirs. It normalizes our personal human experiences. It helps us find connections with each other. It helps us build support systems.

There is a power in honesty, but there's a real vulnerability to it too. Not everyone is going to show up the way we need them to, if they show up at all. Some people will do and say the wrong thing because even good people do that sometimes.

To kick off our second season, we have a conversation with guest Lauren Browning. Lauren has been living with migraine attacks for a long time and was diagnosed with Chronic Migraine at 22. Lauren is also an entrepreneur and the founder of the sustainable swimwear line, Ricki Beach Club. We sat down to talk with Lauren about entrepreneurship, support systems, and living life with Chronic Migraine. But first, as always, I'm joined by my friend and headache specialist, Dr. Christopher Rhyne. Dr. Rhyne, I know you said to call you Christopher. I'm calling you Dr. Rhyne at least on the show.

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Nora, what's going on, man? I love being able to hang out with you and talk about Chronic Migraine and to walk through the stories of these really brave people, who not only deal with this in their day-to-day life but are willing to come forward like this and share their stories with us and how they experience Chronic Migraine.

Nora McInerny:

Me too. I've learned so much from you and so much from them and I have heard from so many people who listened to season one and felt seen and that makes this work feel even better.

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Agreed. The saddest part of Chronic Migraine is how unfortunately, people feel misunderstood with what they're going through, but I think something like this show helps shed a light on what they're experiencing and like you said, makes them feel seen.

Nora McInerny:

Okay, let's dive in. You've worked with many, many, many patients like Lauren who are living with Chronic Migraine. How familiar is her story to you?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

It is profoundly common, unfortunately, and I really wish it wasn’t the case and I see this every day in my clinical practice. The Global Burden of Disease study from 2019, which really looked at the impact that migraine attacks have worldwide, found that women under 50, for them migraine is the number one reason for years lived with disability and the impact is exactly what Lauren is going through.

Here is a motivated, educated, tough as nails lady who knows about the impact that Chronic Migraine is gonna have on her and it's profound, right? She still remembers stories about her grandmother from her childhood talking about the impact that Chronic Migraine has had. So, this is a condition affecting loved ones from our past and our present and can be a generational one often times, and Lauren's story really comes across that way.

Nora McInerny:

Dr. Rhyne, thank you as always. We'll be chatting in just a bit, but right now let's jump into my conversation with Lauren.

Lauren, welcome to the show.

Lauren Browning:

Thank you.

Nora McInerny:

I am looking for some reading recommendations. Have you read anything good lately?

Lauren Browning:

I have. I have it actually right next to me. It's called The Lioness of Boston. It's about Isabella Stewart Gardner who is an art collector in Boston.

Nora McInerny:

Is it getting you excited about living on the East Coast again?

Lauren Browning:

Yeah. I wanna go to her museum. She has like this amazing museum in Boston. So yeah, that was a really good one.

Nora McInerny:

So, Lauren, we want to get to know you and get to know your story and your business before we start talking about your journey with Chronic Migraine. What inspired you to start your own business?

Lauren Browning:

Yeah. I think about this a lot because I kind of think I'm crazy for doing it sometimes 'cause it's an emotional roller coaster. But, um, it honestly started, and I know that you relate to this as well, I lost my dad. And I was 20 years old, and I just felt really lost. I entered the workforce shortly after and felt like I was really mediocre or not good at any job I was doing, and that was a feeling that was something I wasn't used to. I was always a good student, always really involved, and I just felt like I wasn't figuring it out. So through that whole experience with him, I like clichély learned like life is really too short to be spending..

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

... 50 plus hours a week doing something that doesn't inspire you and you don't like and doesn't make you feel good. So, I'm from Rhode Island, grew up around the water and swimwear and beachwear and fashion have always been a large part of my life. So, it's been a very slow intentional build over the last eight years to just really learn and absorb everything I can and launch a beachwear brand.

Nora McInerny:

Tell me what your business is called and what you do.

Lauren Browning:

So, it was previously called Ricki Rum because my dad's name was Rick and we lived on Rumstick Road and my brother-in-law will call him Ricki Rumstick so I just kind of shortened it. Everyone always asks who's Ricki 'cause it's obviously not my name and he actually went by Rick so I don't know. But, um, it's now Ricki Beach Club.

Nora McInerny:

So, you're an entrepreneur.

Lauren Browning:

Mm-hmm.

Nora McInerny:

You are a small business owner and you mentioned that you jumped into this without having any sort of formal background in fashion and in retail. Tell me about what that experience has been like, and have you felt like there's been a lot of pressure?

Lauren Browning:

Yeah, they're definitely, um, has been a lot of pressure, but really, it's internal.

Nora McInerny:

Mm.

Lauren Browning:

But it's been tough because the past six months have been the first time, I've ever been my own boss. I started my business while I had a full-time corporate job and always really like, relied on that.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

I was like, "You know what? Like, it's just my side thing. It's just my side thing." I explained away, you know, why I wasn't growing and why I wasn't, you know, really trying to push it farther. But I realized with the pandemic, I couldn't keep doing a full-time job and trying to do this side hustle and decided to go to business school.

So, in business school, it was great to find people also on this entrepreneurship path because I, you know, I felt like such an imposter. I was like, "Who am I to be doing this?" And going to business school really helped build my confidence. It helped me learn how to talk about the business..

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm.

Lauren Browning:

... and fundraising and all that.

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm.

Nora McInerny:

You're a female founder and you're a female entrepreneur in 2024, which means it has been over 10 years of, you know, really, female culture leaning in, right?

Lauren Browning:

Yup.

Nora McInerny:

But you're also running your own business while living with Chronic Migraine. How has your experience with Chronic Migraine affected, impacted, or informed your entrepreneurial journey?

Lauren Browning:

So, mm.., it's actually been a huge part of it because, um, when I was working those first jobs out of college, I was running to the bathroom and throwing up, like, almost daily because of my migraine attacks. You know, sitting under those fluorescent lights. I realized that a lot of things trigger my migraine attacks, whether it's something I accidentally eat or drink or just like not having a good night sleep. So a lot of things are playing into why I wasn't loving my first jobs. And I worked for some amazing people and with some amazing people. Being my own boss has been great because I set my own hours. Sometimes I'm like, "You know what? We're gonna take three days off instead of two this weekend because I know if I don't rest right now, I'm gonna be out on my back for three days."

Nora McInerny:

I love that you're a compassionate boss to yourself.

So, Dr. Rhyne, I am always glad that we have you here, but I'm especially glad to have you here to give a healthcare provider's perspective on this. So, a huge part of Lauren's story is how Chronic Migraine affected her career and how entrepreneurship has helped her build a career that makes space for her Chronic Migraine. How has Chronic Migraine affected the work lives of your patients?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Nora, there is no doubt it has a tremendous impact on their lives and on all of those components. Really following along the story that we see from Lauren, nearly all of my migraine patients discuss the impact of their working routine, educational situation, and how Chronic Migraine has a deep impact on that. Everything from working overnights or third shifts, pursuing their education while working part-time, maybe even the environmental realities of their working conditions, like extreme heat or cold, they all play a role. And managing Chronic Migraine becomes another one of the sort of stones that they have to carry through their day. From what my patients tell me, the hours that patients work, the stress levels associated with that work are typically contributors to triggering migraine attacks associated with the workplace.

Nora McInerny:

What can make these workplaces such a tough place for people who are living with Chronic Migraine?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

There are so many common triggers in the workplace. The bright light, staring at a screen for long hours, loud distracting noises. You could also meet with or walk by someone that has a really strong perfume or cologne that could trigger a migraine attack. And also the fact that sometimes it's easy for you to forget the basics, like hydrating during the day when you're working hard and focused on other things and all that on top of the stress that comes with a working day and it's a trigger all in itself.

Nora McInerny:

We'll be right back with more from Lauren so stick around.

Nora McInerny:

Welcome back to The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. Let's jump back into my conversation with Lauren Browning.

I want to talk about where you were leading up to your Chronic Migraine diagnosis. You were in that beginning of your career.

Lauren Browning:

Mm-hmm.

Nora McInerny:

You just moved to New York City. And as exciting as these things are, you mentioned these are also things that kind of challenge this whole situation. What else were you juggling at the time and what were your migraine attacks like?

Lauren Browning:

Yeah. So, I had just moved to New York. It was a lot. At the time, I didn't really know about treatments for Chronic Migraine. I also, uh, had gone through, like this horrible break up so I was like, "I'll never love again." And all this stuff. I'm getting a migraine attack every other day. It was overwhelming to say the least.

Nora McInerny:

Oh, that sounds...

Lauren Browning:

And I didn't know where to start.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

I really didn't.

Lauren Browning:

Yeah.

Nora McInerny:

Can you share with us a memory of one of those migraine attacks, how it affected you and when it just became too much?

Lauren Browning:

Definitely. So, um, one of the scarier migraine attacks was when I had temporary vision loss in my left eye. That's not ever happened before. But to my roommates, I look fine. When you have a migraine attack, you don't look sick. It’s almost... And it's hard to describe it,

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

...like m- make me wanna throw up. And it's not until like, there is like that actual, you know, act of throwing up, "Okay, maybe she actually is sick." So, I think a lot of it was like, I felt like I had to convince people I have this disease.  I really just tried to hide it. I remember the first time I was with, uh, my mom. And she actually suffered from migraine attacks. So fortunately, I was with someone who understood and she immediately, like, got me in a dark room, got a towel for my head. So that time, um, was a real bummer. I mean, I had a migraine attack on the way to Mardi Gras and I powered through that. I powered through that so hard. My friends like, didn't understand and then like, I think I went home that night and just like... just like...

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

..."I probably shouldn't have... I probably shouldn't have come to this." But, um, honestly, there's been a lot of life moments, big and small, that I have gone to and attended with a migraine attack.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

Because it was either, you know, just power through it or miss it all together. When you're getting them 15 days a month, it is crazy when all the sudden, like it comes on. Most times, it's like a Mack truck and you don't know how to communicate it with people around you. Fortunately, I have really kind, empathetic people in my life who like, believe me and let me take care of myself or help take care of me. But, um, yeah, like when it came to work and then when I was in business school too, there were times where I'm like, "The way you're looking at me, you think I'm faking this."

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm.

Lauren Browning:

"But I promise you, I'm not."

Nora McInerny:

You also had an experience in business school where there was a professor who suggested that you had er, mentioned, “I’m having a migraine attack" And they had suggested like, "Well, you look fine."

Lauren Browning:

Mm-hmm.

Nora McInerny:

How do you respond to this and manage that stigma?

Lauren Browning:

So, I- I didn't handle this instance well and it did happen this past year. I was, like, I was 31 so like this, you think I would have learned at this point. I started crying. And not like a full-on sob, but just like, I couldn't help my eyes welled up and she's, "Oh my gosh, this, this isn't anything to get worked up over." And I was, "I'm so sorry, I don't know how else to say it to you, but like, if I don't get out of here right now, like I'm going to, like, puke on your shoes right here and I just... I can't."

So unfortunately, I kind of fell apart in that moment. But I just try, like in the past with bosses and then later with that professor, I did talk to her. I was like, "It's one of these things that it's to the naked eye, you're fine, but inside, I won't be well "

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm.

Lauren Browning:

And just communicating that to them. That kind of makes people understand that okay, like this is something serious.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

And then there have been times in the past where I was out for days.

Nora McInerny:

Dr. Rhyne, I wanna bring you back in here. Before we mentioned the global burden of migraine disease, I'm curious about the concept of a shared burden where people with chronic conditions like Chronic Migraine feel this need often to educate people on the disease, so that their experience can be understood. How often do those sorts of conversations come up in your practice?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Nora, really conversations like this are the number one reason why patients become tearful in my clinic. While the discomfort of the migraine attack is profound, the frustration of not being believed or understood is far more sinister. I often will start my communication with patients by letting them know that I believe them. I want them to dive into their story, discuss their experiences in an authentic way. I need them to feel able to express themselves and the experiences that they've had with Chronic Migraine because the only way to have a kind of conversation is to make clear with them that I believe them. I believe their symptoms, I believe their struggle, and I believe that we can help them.

Nora McInerny:

Let's pick up our chat with Lauren.

Now that you are an entrepreneur, which a lot of people have romanticized, but how have you carved out space or protected that space to help avoid your migraine triggers and care for yourself when these migraine attacks happen?

Lauren Browning:

Yeah. I've just been really trying to lean into giving myself grace because when you are an entrepreneur, you set your limits. Um, I've been working on this full-time since business school since June and I really didn't fall into a rhythm till six months in because it's hard to just stay motivated. Um, some days, I was working 15-hour days. Other days, I was putting in like 30 minutes of productive time. I just have learned the hard way that if you push yourself too hard, you are going to burn out and like I said earlier, you're going to be a bad coworker to the people that depend on you and you're gonna waste their time. And that's what's really led me to putting boundaries in place. If I don't get a good night's sleep, I need to make sure I communicate to my team that, you know, I'm going to be on like this part of the day, but then after that, like you can reach me on my phone, but I'm not gonna be like actively checking things.

Sleep is really big. I've made this like, sleep cocoon, if you will. Uh, noise machine, weighted blanket. Sleep has been the biggest thing that I put in place and then just communicating.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah. What's interesting about your journey with Chronic Migraine was that your mother, you mentioned...

Lauren Browning:

Mm-hmm.

Nora McInerny:

...also experiences migraine attacks and so did your grandmother.

Lauren Browning:

Yes.

Nora McInerny:

Do you remember that as a part of growing up?

Lauren Browning:

Huge part of growing up. So, with my mom, so she started getting them in her 40s and as a child, like, I remember having to bring up the trays of food to her and just like help take care of her because she was out all the time. So that was a huge part of growing up. Like, I always kind of liked the role of caretaker or a nurse, but like I hated seeing her struggle.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah.

Lauren Browning:

That was really tough to see. And then my grandma, like, never admitted that she would get migraine attacks. We used to visit her every February break, so it was around Valentine's Day. She loves chocolate and we give her one of those giant chocolate hearts. We'd bring that in our suitcase, and she'd eat the whole thing and then she would get a horrible migraine attack. I'm like, "Grammy... " And she, "I just have a...I just have a headache.” We're like, "This is more than a headache." And she's like, "I have no idea what caused it." We're like, "We have an inkling."

Nora McInerny:

(laughs)

Lauren Browning:

And she was so in denial because she was such a chocoholic. And so that's actually how I started to think about what was triggering mine and I actually am triggered by caffeine.

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm. So, you had support from family members who got it. How do you think that impacted your Chronic Migraine journey?

Lauren Browning:

I think it was very helpful. So when my migraine attacks started to get really bad. My mom was like, "We need to find you a neurologist." So I found one, started a treatment plan and it helped, but I wasn’t meeting my treatment goals. He was like, "Sorry, that's the only thing we can do." Like, "There's nothing more." And I think if I hadn't grown up with physicians in my family, my dad was a physician, my sister is a physician, I was like, "There's no way that's true." Like, "There's got to be other treatment options."

Nora McInerny:

Mm-hmm.

Lauren Browning:

So, I found this amazing migraine clinic in New York City. And when I saw that neurologist, she was like, "Oh my gosh, like we have so many options to try. Like, everyone has a unique treatment plan and we're gonna find the one that fits you."

Lauren Browning:

But yeah, I think having, you know, family members who experience this and physicians in my family kind of gave me the wherewithal to keep questioning things and advocating for myself. And as I've become a, you know, more of an adult, it's crazy how much we have to advocate for our own health.

Nora McInerny:

Yeah. Lauren, thank you so much for being here today. I am a fan of you professionally and, uh, now personally as well.

Lauren Browning:

Well, I'm very grateful. Thank you.

Nora McInerny:

Dr. Rhyne, Lauren is really lucky to have really strong familial and generational support systems she can lean on. Her mom, you know, she had the experience of seeing her mother and her grandmother also live with migraine. So how much of migraine and Chronic Migraine is genetic? Is this something that is passed down or shaped by environmental factors?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Yes, there is a familial and genetic element of who gets migraine attacks. There are studies that have shown that being related to someone with migraine greatly increases your chances of experiencing migraine attacks, but the area is still very new and it's kind of being researched and looked at still at this time. Because migraine symptoms can look different person to person, it can be difficult to, uh, identify those ties. But yes, there very much is a family trend to migraine.

Nora McInerny:

So, walk us through some things here. Let's say you have someone in your family who's living with migraine, you start to notice similar symptoms in yourself, is it important for you to talk to a doctor early?

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

Yeah, I don't think it's ever too early to reach out and talk through your situation with a doctor because fundamentally, the sooner that we have that conversation, the sooner we make the diagnosis and the earlier we can get to a diagnosis, the earlier we can get to a treatment plan.

Nora McInerny:

Thanks Dr. Rhyne. Always great to talk to you.

Dr. Christopher Rhyne:

You too, Nora. You're the best.

Nora McInerny:

Not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur, but I hope that this conversation with Lauren gave you the inspiration to start or to keep going. And regardless of what your Chronic Migraine journey is, I loved what Lauren had to say about the power of self-advocacy, of raising your voice and making yourself heard.

This has been The Head Start: Embracing the Journey. Thank you to our guest, Lauren Browning, the founder of Ricki Beach Club, for sharing her story with us. If you haven't found a Chronic Migraine treatment plan that is working for you, please do reach out to your headache specialist to explore your options. I truly hope this has helped you find a bit of comfort and maybe a smile, maybe? See you next episode and stay tuned for more important safety information.

The Head Start: Embracing the Journey is hosted by myself, Nora McInerny and executive produced by Yvonne Sheehan. Our EP of post-production is James Foster. Our supervising producer is Ciara Kaiser. Our writer is John Irwin, and the show is mixed by Nick Cipriano for Bang Audio. Post Original music by SoundCat Productions and Artlist.

Please see additional Important Safety Information, including Boxed Warning, within this podcast or on the website below.